30 Things: #2

Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.

#1 I'm terrified of falling. Not heights mind you... It doesn't freak me out to be up high. Rather it's the can't-breathe-stomach-in-knots feeling that is associated with the sensation of falling. To accurately describe this feeling: you're riding a rollercoaster and the cars have just left the loading and unloading dock. The train of cars is steadily climbing in elevation until it finally reaches the summit. There's a slight pause when all of a sudden the train goes down the other side of the monstrous hill. You know when your stomach somehow ends up in your throat and you find yourself not able to breathe? Bingo. I can't honestly say when my fear of this feeling manifested itself. What's weird is I love to ride rollercoasters, flying doesn't freak me out, and being in the mountains doesn't faze me. But whenever I'm in a situation like that I can't help but think of the consequences of being up so high.

#2 I fear death. To the point that if I dwell on it too long I will have an anxiety attack. This fear has turned more into a phobia ever since I had children, and ever since experiencing the death of my grandpa and great grandpa in 2006. I love living my life and I love my children and husband with ever fiber of my being, it unnerves me to no end to think I won't always be around. To cease existing gets to me.

#3 I think I have a fish phobia. What's that called? (please hold while I Google my strangest fear...) Ideophobia. Even though it's my strangest fear I'd consider it my worst fear. I can't look at a fish tank, or walk by the fish in a pet store, without wanting to puke. It's horrible. I have NO idea why I'm so terrified of fish. I like to eat fish. I can handle watching one being cleaned after being caught, I love fishing. Maybe the answer will present itself in the future.