April 30, 2010
Hormonal = Word of the day
I don't have any idea what is wrong with me today. I have been crying at EVERYTHING. I was watching the Duggars on TLC this morning, and seeing the dad comfort one of his daughters made me cry. I was laying in bed with Claire this afternoon and wanted to cry for no reason at all. And just now James was showing me pictures of a condo and that made me cry. WTF? I know I have woman issues, but this month has been totally off. Calling Monday to make an appointment.
I'm human.
So, I'll probably get in trouble for this...
.... but last night was my Mary Kay party. I had booked this almost 4 weeks in advance, made an event page on Facebook, and made sure all the Girl's Night regulars knew about it. I had every intention on making it a Girl's Night function. However, when I got onto the event page a few days later only ONE person from Girl's Night RSVP'd. Two immediately said "No," and the rest said "Maybe." I just figured maybe they didn't know it was for Girl's Night so I asked my best-friend about it. Nothing ever came of it. Well, last night NO ONE from the regular Thursday night group showed up. One had to work, one had to sleep, and I don't know about the rest. One friend I had invited never showed up and didn't text me until later that she wasn't coming. I was/am so disappointed and hurt. I don't understand why people think they can walk all over me. I think I'm so hurt by this because I thought these girls were my friends. For them to just leave me high and dry really hurt my feelings. Am I being juvenille?
Tomorrow marks 4 years since my grandpa died. My grandma wanted me to go to the cemetary today with her, but alas, it's raining. I was actually looking forward to it since I haven't been out there in 2 years. I still think about him a lot. I wish he could've known Claire because I know he would have been a great Great grandpa to her. I remember how much fun I used to have with him. When we lived in Lenexa I used to call him every morning to see if he'd come over to play with me. We would color, play dominos, play checkers... whatever I wanted to do. When my grandparents moved back to Wichita he picked me up from school everyday and almost always took me to QuikTrip to get something to drink. He would ask me to mow the lawn, go with him to put gas in the car, stop by and drop off bananas. I miss Poppa horribly. I can't believe he's been gone for 4 years already.
I have fallen off the Weight Watcher band wagon. Two friends have already lost 15 pounds in 7 weeks. It makes me sick to know that if I would've been hardcore about it I could've lost that much as well. I don't know why it is so hard for me to stay motivated. I want to be skinny again, and stop hating the way I look naked in front of a mirror. I especially want to lose weight before I have another baby. I want to be where I was before I had Claire. It's not an unrealistic goal. Only 15-20 pounds. And to think I could've dropped that in 7 weeks. Makes me sick!
.... but last night was my Mary Kay party. I had booked this almost 4 weeks in advance, made an event page on Facebook, and made sure all the Girl's Night regulars knew about it. I had every intention on making it a Girl's Night function. However, when I got onto the event page a few days later only ONE person from Girl's Night RSVP'd. Two immediately said "No," and the rest said "Maybe." I just figured maybe they didn't know it was for Girl's Night so I asked my best-friend about it. Nothing ever came of it. Well, last night NO ONE from the regular Thursday night group showed up. One had to work, one had to sleep, and I don't know about the rest. One friend I had invited never showed up and didn't text me until later that she wasn't coming. I was/am so disappointed and hurt. I don't understand why people think they can walk all over me. I think I'm so hurt by this because I thought these girls were my friends. For them to just leave me high and dry really hurt my feelings. Am I being juvenille?
Tomorrow marks 4 years since my grandpa died. My grandma wanted me to go to the cemetary today with her, but alas, it's raining. I was actually looking forward to it since I haven't been out there in 2 years. I still think about him a lot. I wish he could've known Claire because I know he would have been a great Great grandpa to her. I remember how much fun I used to have with him. When we lived in Lenexa I used to call him every morning to see if he'd come over to play with me. We would color, play dominos, play checkers... whatever I wanted to do. When my grandparents moved back to Wichita he picked me up from school everyday and almost always took me to QuikTrip to get something to drink. He would ask me to mow the lawn, go with him to put gas in the car, stop by and drop off bananas. I miss Poppa horribly. I can't believe he's been gone for 4 years already.
I have fallen off the Weight Watcher band wagon. Two friends have already lost 15 pounds in 7 weeks. It makes me sick to know that if I would've been hardcore about it I could've lost that much as well. I don't know why it is so hard for me to stay motivated. I want to be skinny again, and stop hating the way I look naked in front of a mirror. I especially want to lose weight before I have another baby. I want to be where I was before I had Claire. It's not an unrealistic goal. Only 15-20 pounds. And to think I could've dropped that in 7 weeks. Makes me sick!
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