1. What do you do with all your free time?
First of all: Free time? I don't even know what that means anymore. When I want to do anything by myself, whether its going to a store alone or closing the bathroom door, I am met with cries of protest from both of my children. Samuel, especially, doesn't understand that Mommy will be right back. Or just because a door is closed means I haven't disappeared forever.
I get very little time to myself. There's a small window of opportunity at the end of our day when both children are in bed, but I have to sleep at some point. I get 10-15 minutes to read a few chapters in a book, or talk to my husband uninterrupted, before I am too exhausted to keep my eyes open. I wonder, sometimes, how we have a second child.
2. Your husband must make a good living.
My husband makes a decent living, but he hasn't always. And decent doesn't mean excellent. We'd be a lot better off as a two income household. But we've made sacrifices to be able to live on one income. We rarely go out to eat. We never go to the movies and very rarely rent them. (Our entertainment budget is enough for a Netflix subscription and that's it.) I make my own iced coffee instead of going to Starbucks. We shop at Aldi. We don't have cable. I don't stay at home because my husband makes enough money. I stay at home because the sacrifices we make as a family make it worth it.
3. It must be nice not to have to work.
I don't work in a professional environment. I work in my home. My job demands that I clean bathrooms, sweep and mop floors, do laundry, do dishes, vacuum, make beds, feed children, bathe children, transport to and from school... My job is tiring and never ends. Just because I stay at home all day doesn't mean I don't do anything. I do lots of things. And then I do them again because I have two tornadoes living in my house that undo everything I do.
4. When do you plan to get a job?
My husband and I have an understanding that I will return to work as soon as all our children are in school full time. So, as of right now, I have until Sam is 5 or 6 before thinking about finding a job. And when it comes to be that time it will be a petty, part-time job that will allow me to drop off and pick up my children from school. My kids are my number one priority. A job outside the home is not. This is the decision my husband and I have made, and just because its not something you would do doesn't mean it's wrong.
5. Is it easier for you now that your kid is in school?
Yes and no. It's easier in the fact that I don't have another child to take care of during the day. But even though Claire is not physically here to take care of, I am caring for her in other ways. I make her bed every morning so she can focus on homework instead of chores. I wash her clothes so she has clean uniforms and play clothes. I plan dinners and snacks so she's not hungry. So on top of those daily tasks I have Samuel running around. And boy is he ornery. I'm still able to get things done around the house, but I have to constantly keep an eye on him. Or distract him with toys I know will keep him busy for awhile.
6. If you're tired you should sleep when the baby sleeps.
Oh my goodness. This phrase has driven me insane since Claire has been born. Granted, it was easier for me to lay down with her because we were living in my in-laws basement and I didn't have many responsibilities. But with Samuel? Forget about it. I had a 5 year old and a house with Samuel. Sleeping when he slept was not an option. And it still isn't. When he goes down for a nap that is my time to unload the dishwasher, mop the floor, or eat lunch. His nap time equals uninterrupted quiet time for at least 1 hour.
7. Did you go to college?
The assumption that I might not have is what bothers me. Yes, I did attend AND graduate college. On time, might I add, while having a baby and getting married. I'm very proud of my education, and for someone to think I might not have just because I'm a stay-at-home mom really hurts my feelings.
8. You're Betty Crocker! (June Cleaver would substitute nicely as well.)
Now, I know this is someone's way of paying me a compliment, but sometimes it really bothers me. What I do for my children and husband is not abnormal for me. Just because I make dinner every night, bake breads and desserts from scratch, and keep my house clean does not mean I am an airhead fictional character. I don't do it to be the ultimate mom or wife. I don't intentionally mean to be like "that". This is how I am and this is how I choose to run my house.
9. You don't get to dress up often.
OR
You used to wear more jewelry.
While both of these statements are absolutely true, it doesn't mean that you can say them condescendingly. I spend 90% of my time at home. Why would I wear jeans, nice blouses, and/or sets of jewelry all day? I "dress up" for church and any other event I might attend, but when I'm at home I prefer my yoga pants and t-shirts. And guess what? I'm okay with that! I may have dressed to the nines in college, but that was my life then. This is my life now. My taste and comfort level has changed drastically.
10. Don't you miss adult conversations?
Sometimes, yes. But I love talking to my children just as much. I get plenty of adult interaction with my husband and other family members. And what constitutes "adult conversation"? I have a couple good friends who I talk to on a regular basis. We like to air our laundry and compare experiences. We may not talk about politics or religion, but talking about our daily struggles as moms is enough. It's more satisfying, I think. To know someone is going through the same things you are creates a bond and camaraderie you don't necessarily get with anyone else.
Now, a little insight into my daily schedule. It's really more of a routine, and it changes depending on moods, activities, etc.
6:45 AM: I wake up with the kids. I help Claire get dressed for school, change Samuel's diaper, and get dressed myself.
7:15 AM: I make breakfast for Claire and Samuel. Give Claire her daily medicine and double check her backpack.
7:30 AM: Leave to take Claire to school.
7:45-11:00 AM: I usually clean house and play with Samuel. I like running my errands in this time frame. I prefer to be home in time for Sam's nap.
11:00 AM-1:00 PM: Samuel naps anywhere between this time. I usually finish a few chores and eat lunch. This is my down time as well.
1:00-3:10 PM: More playing with Samuel and more chores before leaving to get Claire from school. I sometimes take a shower around this time.
3:45-5:00 PM: I pick up a few things before James gets home, help Claire with homework, and get things ready to make dinner.
5:30 PM: James is usually home from work and we sit down to eat dinner soon after.
6:00-7:45 PM: The kids usually play and James does the dishes from dinner. We run any errands during this time. On Tuesdays and Thursdays the kids take a bath.
8:00-8:15 PM: We all get ready for bed and sometimes read a story together (Claire and James always read before bed. Whether Sam and I join them depends on how tired Sam is.)
8:30 PM: Both kids are usually asleep. James and I go to sleep shortly after.
Weekends are more laid back and have a pretty open schedule. We always go to Mass at 5:00 on Saturday nights. Sunday we usually spend at home getting things done for the next week. Sunday is also a bath day for the kids.
If you made it through this whole post, bravo! I would give you a cookie if I could.
If I offended anyone please know it was not my intention. I only wanted to give people a glimpse at what my life is like on a day-to-day basis.
1 comment:
I loved reading this, love you girl keep it up!
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